You Live and You Learn

35 Things That Having Cancer Taught Me

The other day Zach came up with the idea of writing a blog post where I list 35 things that I learned while having cancer (for the second time). It would be in honor of the 35 radiation treatments that I went through.

My out-loud response: "THIRTY-FIVE? YEAH RIGHT."

My response in my brain: "Cancer didn't teach me anything besides the fact that it's stupid" (I often have mature thought processes like this going through my head).

Much to my surprise though, having cancer again DID teach me a thing or two (or thirty-five) about life and I figured I would share. Some of these items listed are things that I personally learned through my experience. Many of them are advice for those going through the same fight that I did. Some of them have to do directly with having cancer and some of them you can relate to any tough life situation.

Warning: some of these may also sound sappy, but you'll live.

____________________________

1. Regardless of what the internet and news constantly suggest and portray, the world is FULL of good people doing good things.

2. There will be situations in life that seem downright impossible. I mean truly "there-is-no-chance-I-will-ever-get-through-this" situations. Yet somehow, you do get through.

3. There will be good days and there will be bad days, however this is just a bad chapter of a good life.

4. Likewise, some people's chapters last a few months, some a few years, and some forever. Each is difficult and heart-breaking/beautiful and rewarding in it's own way.

5. With time, IT WILL COME BACK. The hair. The eyebrows. Your energy. Give it time.

6. Googling your symptoms will NEVER end well. Checking WebMD will also NEVER end well. Just don't do it.

7. It's ok (and good) to celebrate the small victories (like having enough hair to use a brush) just as much as you do the big ones.

8. Learn about the people in the infusion room. Find the person who NEVER stops talking about their cancer. Find the person who snores when the benadryll knocks them out. Do not sit by these people.

9. People will give you sad looks and ask you "how areeee you?" all the time. It will get annoying. You will respond with some rehearsed version of "hanging in there". They are doing their best though ... just like you are doing yours. Cut them some slack.

10. Meltdowns are okay. Allow yourself to fall apart every once in a while. Just make sure to pick yourself back up when you're done and start again.

11. Having to depend on someone else does not make you a burden. Asking for and receiving help does not either. It means that you have people in your life that love you.

12. God is listening, but his timing does not always match yours. His path may include 3 right turns and a few steps backwards when all you wanted to do was go straight. Be patient.

13. It's ok to give yourself time to relax. Stay on the couch in your pajamas. Let someone else make the dinner. Take a nap after you just woke up.

14. Likewise, you can only watch so much Chip and Joanna Gains before going insane.

15. Finding a doctor that you love and trust (and who lets you call them on their cellphone when you are worried) is one of the most important choices that you can make.

16. Sometimes you have to take things one day at a time. Other times, you have to take things one minute at a time. Adjust as necessary.

17. Having a good sense of humor is the key to everything. If you're not laughing, you're probably crying, and who wants to cry all the time?

18. Medicine, doctors, appointments, treatments ... they can only go so far. Faith picks up where these things leave off.

19. Throwing up, in a moving car, while you are driving, going 70mph on the highway, is not an easy thing. You learn to improvise.

20. Embrace your scars. Embrace the hair loss. Dare I say, embrace the feeding tube sticking out of your stomach? It shows that you're a fighter.

21. Prayer is a powerful, powerful thing.

22. Nurses are rockstars. Buy them a coffee and smile at them when they are tired (hint: they are always tired).

23. Cancer will bring so many incredible people into your life. It will fill your life with strangers, people from the past, friends of friends ... it's God's way of saying that you don't have to do it alone.

24. Puppy snuggles are the best prescription that you can get. Puppy snuggles > hydrocodone. Puppy snuggles are good for the soul.

25. When you're sick it seems like you are always waiting. Waiting on a scan, waiting for a doctors appointment, waiting for a plan. Waiting is hard.

26. Stay busy. A busy mind worries less.

27. Cancer does not discriminate. It doesn't care about age, lifestyle or gender. To put it oh-so-elequently, cancer sucks.

28. Wallowing in self-pity will get you nowhere. Quit whining about all of the bad things and make a plan to deal with them.

29. On the other hand, you're only human and it's ok to wallow and whine every once in a while.

30. When your husband suggests you write a blog post about 35 things that cancer taught you, you will wish that you had only had 15 radiation treatments because you are on #30 and out of ideas.

31. You will be in awe, and I mean true awe, at how much you are loved.

32. You will see cancer everywhere you look. The main characters love interest in the movie you just saw - she's fighting cancer as part of the movie's emotional climax. The commercial on TV - it's rambling about cancer treatment options. The billboard while you're driving - it's for a cancer treatment center. It's everywhere. You will get used to it.

33. You will never again have "only an earache". Every ache and pain will make you think that your cancer is back. Headache? Brain cancer. Knee hurts? Probably knee cancer. New freckle? Melanoma. To others the worrying is irrational, to you it's inevitable.

34. This life is available for a limited time only. Limit (1) per person. Don't sweat the small stuff.

35. Life is 50% what happens to you and 50% how you handle it. You can choose to handle things like a badass. You can choose to turn a crappy situation into a learning experience. You can choose to see the glass half-full.

XXOO, L